Sort Your Life Out

Sort Your Life Out

Rediscovering Joy and Creating a Fulfilling Future

In the messy middle of midlife, it’s not uncommon to find ourselves feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or lacking the energy to envision a brighter future.

The responsibilities, challenges, and transitions that come with this phase can take a toll on our wellbeing and leave us questioning our path.

However, I’m here to assure you that change is possible, and happiness can be rediscovered. In this post, I’ll share headline tips to inspire you and guide you towards a life of fulfilment.

But remember, the most transformative journey begins with investing in yourself, and that’s why I invite you to book a 75-minute Sort Your Life Out Holistic Life Audit Coaching Session, designed specifically for midlife women.

1. Embrace Self-Reflection:
To sort your life out and find the happiness you crave, start by embarking on a journey of self-reflection.
Take the time to understand your values, desires, and aspirations.
Ask yourself meaningful questions:
What brings you joy?
What are your passions?
What do you envision for your future?
By delving deep within, you can gain clarity and uncover the foundation for creating a fulfilling life.

2. Identify Energy-Drainers:
Midlife often comes with accumulated responsibilities, commitments, and obligations that drain our energy.
Take a moment to identify the activities, relationships, or situations that no longer serve you.
Are there tasks that can be delegated or let go?
Are there toxic relationships that need boundaries or closure?
By decluttering your life from energy-drainers, you create space for new possibilities and positive changes.

3. Prioritise Self-Care:
As midlife women, we tend to prioritise the needs of others above our own.
It’s time to shift that mindset and embrace the importance of self-care. Nurturing your physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing is essential for creating a fulfilling future.
Incorporate self-care practices that resonate with you, whether it’s practicing mindfulness, engaging in physical activity, or indulging in activities that bring you joy.
Remember, self-care is not selfish—it’s a vital investment in your overall happiness.

4. Seek Support and Guidance:
Sometimes, sorting your life out can feel overwhelming, and that’s when seeking support becomes crucial.
A trusted confidant, a supportive community, or a professional coach can provide valuable insights and guidance.
Consider booking a 90-minute Holistic Life Audit Coaching Session tailored for midlife women.
This session will provide you with the support, accountability, and personalised strategies you need to navigate the challenges and uncertainties of this phase.

5. Craft a Roadmap for the Future:
A key component of sorting your life out is creating a roadmap for the future.
During our coaching session, you will complete a Holistic Life Audit. Together, we will assess various aspects of your life, identify areas that need attention, and craft a personalised action plan.
This roadmap will guide you in making intentional changes, setting goals, and taking steps towards a more fulfilling and purpose-driven life.

Midlife doesn’t have to be a period of stagnation or despair. By taking the initiative to sort your life out, you can rediscover joy, create a fulfilling future, and find a renewed sense of purpose.

Please do believe that change is possible, and happiness is within reach. As you implement the headline tips shared in this blog post, I encourage you to invest in yourself by booking a 75-minute Sort Your Life Out Holistic Life Audit Coaching Session designed specifically for midlife women. Together, we will navigate this transformative journey, guiding you towards a life filled with fulfilment, purpose, and happiness.

Book your 75-Minute Sort Your Life Out Holistic Life Audit Coaching Session today and embark on a journey towards a fulfilling future!

Emotional Healing For Happiness In Midlife

Emotional Healing For Happiness In Midlife

Emotional healing for happiness in midlife

Welcome fabulous ladies to this post where we’re going to dive into the incredible journey of emotional healing and how it can bring you lasting joy and fulfilment. So, let’s explore the transformative power of healing together!

 

Healing for wellness: the mind-body connection

Picture this: your mind and body working in perfect harmony, like the ultimate BFF duo. Healing for wellness recognises that our emotions and physical wellbeing are deeply intertwined.

It’s all about giving yourself the love and care you deserve, both inside and out.

By addressing emotional wounds, traumas, and those limiting beliefs, you’re paving the way for an incredible shift in your overall wellness.

So get ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery and healing that will leave you feeling more vibrant and alive than ever before!

 

Why healing matters in midlife

Now, let’s talk about why healing is so important for us midlife women. This phase of life brings with it a unique set of experiences and challenges.

You might find yourself at a crossroads, questioning your purpose, and yearning for a deeper sense of fulfilment. It’s perfectly normal to feel a mix of emotions – from excitement to uncertainty – as you navigate this transformative period.

But here’s the truth: healing can be the key that unlocks the door to a whole new world of possibilities.

 

The impact of unaddressed emotional wounds

Okay, let’s get real for a moment. Life often throws some curveballs our way, and many of us end up carrying emotional wounds from the past.

These wounds, if left unaddressed, can act like heavy baggage, weighing us down and preventing us from experiencing true happiness.

They can manifest as self-doubt, limiting beliefs, and even physical ailments.

But fear not! Healing those wounds can set you free, allowing you to step into your power and create a life filled with love, joy, and fulfilment.

 

What Happens if You Don’t Heal

Now, let’s shine a light on what happens if you choose not to embark on a healing journey.

Picture another scenario: you continue to carry those emotional burdens, burying them deeper and deeper within yourself.

Over time, they start to seep into every aspect of your life, affecting your relationships, your wellbeing, and your overall happiness.

It’s like carrying around a heavy backpack that’s weighing you down, preventing you from reaching your full potential.

But guess what? You have the power to change that narrative. You have the power to heal and create a life that is truly aligned with your heart’s desires.

 

Geting Started on Your Healing Journey

Are you ready to take the first step on your healing journey? Here are a few tips to get you started:

1. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Embrace self-love and treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding you would offer to a close friend.

2. Seek Support: Healing doesn’t have to be a solo mission. In fact, it really shouldn’t be. Reach out to trusted friends, family, or seek support from professionals who can provide the support and guidance you need.

3. Embrace Mindfulness: Cultivate a practice of being present in the moment. Engage in activities that bring you joy, whether it’s a walk in nature, practicing meditation, or indulging in a creative outlet.

 

The transformation awaits

As you embark on your healing journey, get ready for a remarkable transformation. Picture a life where you’ve released those emotional burdens, tapped into your inner strength, and embraced a newfound sense of joy and fulfilment.

 

Healing for happiness coaching

Discover the power of a mind-body approach, bridging science and spirituality, and gain practical tips to initiate your healing process.

Unleash your true potential, find inner peace, and embark on a journey of self-discovery towards a happier and more fulfilling life.

One Year Closer To Wisdom

One Year Closer To Wisdom

I recently celebrated another trip around the sun 🎈

A year of challenge, self-discovery, healing and growth. But am I one year closer to wisdom?

I’ve learned so much I’d need to write a book, not a blog post. So rather than sharing the very many lessons I’ve learned, instead here are the lessons I’m taking forward into my next year, as commitments to my future self.

Ageing Positively: Age is a number, and my waistline doesn’t define my worth (hello birthday cake!). Embracing acceptance has been a game-changer for me and I hope to continue. I’m learning to celebrate every grey hair, (almost) every wrinkle / laughter line, and a few new curves. It’s about embracing the beauty of being a perfectly imperfect human being and remembering that confidence and authenticity are the most stunning accessories we can wear.

Which leads me to Authenticity: I know it’s important. I’m reading, I’m learning, I’m shedding, I’m trying. I just haven’t nailed it yet. *see people pleaser

Stop Lugging Around the Past: Most of us are hauling around emotional baggage. But guess what? You can’t change the past. Carrying it around only weighs us down and keeps us from experiencing the freedom and joy of the present. So, I’m learning to let go, release those old hurts, and make space for new experiences. It’s like Marie Kondo-ing my emotional closet!

And speaking of Marie Kondo… Less is not more. But less is better. I’ve moved apartments 5 times in 3 years and each time I’ve shed more stuff. It’s liberating! The less I have, the less I want, the less I need and the less I use. Next step… I’m seriously considering a capsule wardrobe. Watch this space…

Nothing is permanent. The only constant is change. If it’s difficult it will pass. If it’s positive, I can be sure that there will be more twists and turns up ahead. Accepting that change is inevitable, helps me adapt, grow, and stay open to new possibilities.

Laughter really is the best medicine. Spend more time with the people you laugh with. Life has been tough, we need to balance it out with fun.

Write. Things. Down. I wrote a post called I Lost My Way in Midlife. The follow-up post will be I Lost My Mind in Menopause! My mind is full. My memory is gone. Write. Things. Down.

People pleasing. Stop. They don’t even realise you’re doing it. You’re the one who ends up unhappy. Learn to set and communicate healthy boundaries.

People leave your life. Sometimes that’s for the best. Spend less time with candle-blower outers.

Belong to yourself first: “The opposite of belonging is fitting in. Fitting in is assessing and acclimating. ‘Here is what I should say/be, here is what I shouldn’t say, here is what I should avoid talking about, here’s what I should dress like/look like,’ that’s fitting in. Belonging, is belonging to yourself first” ~ Brené Brown. As an introvert who protects my limited social energy, I already seek out genuine connections and meaningful relationships. I’ll keep trying to break free from the pressure to conform, celebrate my individuality and trust in being myself.

Be you. Live your life. For you. I moved to Spain for a simpler and slower life. I’m living it. I’m loving it. Simplicity suits me. I don’t feel a need to do more. I’m happy doing less.

Worry is a waste of time. Depression is a thief of time. Life is short. Try not to lose precious time on worry and overthinking. Prioritise health and self-care to optimise mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.

Go all in. If you decide to do something, don’t do it half-a*sed. In my personal life, once I say ‘yes’, I show up fully. But in business, I’m less ‘in’. I have a career Plan B (actually, I also have a Plan C!). But I spent most of last year on Plan B, which resulted in me investing a lot of my time in someone else’s business. That business has now pivoted in a different direction, which is incredible for them, but has left them with little requirement for me. A year wasted? No. A year of learning. But this year, I’m investing in building my own business. I’m all in!

So there you have it, my fabulous friends – a glimpse into the lessons I’m learning while navigating through the messy middle of midlife.

Here’s to another year of laughter, growth, and embracing the beauty of being!

Unbecoming

Unbecoming

What is Unbecoming? 

Unbecoming is all about letting go of old patterns, beliefs, and habits that no longer serve you, and freeing yourself to become the authentic, confident, and empowered person you were meant to be.

 

why is it important in midlife?

As we enter midlife, we often find ourselves carrying around a lot of baggage from our past.

This can include negative self-talk, limiting beliefs, and emotional wounds that have never fully healed. These things can hold us back and prevent us from living our best life.

 

how midlife could look if you don’t let go

If you don’t let go of these old patterns and beliefs, you may find yourself feeling stuck, unfulfilled, and lacking in confidence. You may struggle to make meaningful connections with others and may have difficulty finding joy in life.

It’s important to let go of these things so that you can live a more joyful, fulfilling, and purposeful life.

 

here are some tips to help you start letting go & unbecoming: 

1. Identify your limiting beliefs: Take some time to reflect on the beliefs that are holding you back. Are they based on past experiences or self-doubt? Once you identify them, you can begin to challenge and reframe them.

2. Practice forgiveness: Forgiving others and yourself can be a powerful way to release negative emotions and let go of the past. Remember that forgiveness is a process, and it’s okay to take your time with it.

3. Release negative self-talk: Negative self-talk can be a major obstacle to letting go and becoming your best self. Practice noticing when you’re engaging in negative self-talk and challenge those thoughts with positive affirmations.

4. Get support: Letting go of old patterns and beliefs can be challenging, so it’s important to get support from others. This can be in the form of a trusted friend, family member, or a professional coach or therapist.

5. Embrace change: Letting go and unbecoming often involves making changes in your life. Embrace the idea of change and look for opportunities to step outside of your comfort zone.

6. Cultivate self-compassion: Letting go and unbecoming can be a difficult process, so it’s important to be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Remember that it’s okay to make mistakes and that growth takes time.

 

what are the benefits of Letting Go and Unbecoming?

Letting go and unbecoming can lead to a number of benefits, including:

1. Increased self-confidence: When you let go of old patterns and beliefs, you free yourself to become your best self. This can lead to increased confidence and self-esteem.

2. Greater sense of purpose: Letting go of what no longer serves you can help you clarify your values and purpose in life. This can help you find greater meaning and fulfilment.

3. Better relationships: By letting go of negative patterns and beliefs, you may find that you’re better able to connect with others in a more meaningful way.

4. Increased resilience: Letting go of the past and embracing change can help you become more resilient in the face of life’s challenges.

5. Freedom: From the weight of the past, allowing you to fully embrace the present and create a brighter future.

 

how unbecoming improves your midlife

After letting go and unbecoming, you may find that you have a renewed sense of purpose and energy. You may feel more confident, connected, and fulfilled in your personal and professional life. You may have more meaningful relationships and feel more in control of your emotions and reactions.

 

work with us! 

At mind:body:life:soul we believe that Unbecoming and letting go is an essential step on the path to living a joyful, fulfilling, and purposeful life.

So important that our Happiness Through The Messy Middle coaching programmes have an entire module, Unbecoming: Letting Go, to help you identify and release old patterns and beliefs that are holding you back, so that you can become the authentic, empowered person you were meant to be.

With the right tools, support, and mindset, you can let go of the past and embrace a brighter, more vibrant future. Join us on this journey of growth and transformation, and unlock the key to living your best life. 

Happiness Is An Inside Job

Happiness Is An Inside Job

We all want to be happy, right? But what if I told you that happiness is an inside job?

 

Yes, it’s true. Happiness begins within yourself.

Happiness isn’t something that can be found outside of you. And it’s not something that someone else can give you.

You won’t find it in material possessions, relationships, or achievements. Sure, these can bring temporary pleasure and satisfaction, but they’re not the key to sustained happiness.

Happiness is a state of mind that you can cultivate through the thoughts you think, the emotions you feel, and the actions you take.

So, what does it take to be truly happy?

The answer lies within you. Here are some tips to help you start cultivating happiness from within: 

Practice gratitude:

Take a moment each day to reflect on what you’re grateful for. It can be anything from having a good cup of coffee to having a supportive friend.

When we focus on what we’re thankful for, we’re less likely to get bogged down by what we lack or what we want.  Focusing on the positive things in your life can help shift your perspective and make you feel happier.

 

Think positive thoughts:

Choose your thoughts wisely as they have a powerful impact on how you feel and behave. Negative thoughts can really bring you down, while positive ones can lift you up. When you catch yourself dwelling on negative thoughts, try to reframe them in a more positive light. Instead of thinking, “I’ll never be able to do this,” try thinking “I may not be able to do this right now, and I might struggle at first, but I can learn and improve.”

 

Take care of your body:

Your physical health and mental health are closely connected. When you take care of your body through healthy habits like regular exercise, healthy eating, and adequate sleep, you’re more likely to feel good both physically and mentally. Exercise, for example, releases endorphins that can boost mood and reduce stress. Eating a healthy diet can provide the nutrients your body and brain need to function at their best. Getting enough sleep can improve mood, memory, and cognitive function.

 

Connect with others:

Humans are social creatures, and having positive relationships and meaningful connections are essential for happiness. Spending time with friends and family can provide support, encouragement, and a sense of belonging.

Positive social interactions can also boost mood and reduce stress. So make time for friends and family, and seek out opportunities to meet new people.

 

Do things that bring you joy:

Spending time doing things that you love and enjoy is a simple but powerful way to boost happiness.

Whether it’s reading, being creative, playing a sport, taking time to do things you enjoy can give you a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction. Doing things that you find meaningful and purposeful can also give you a sense of accomplishment and contributes to overall wellbeing.

 

Happiness is not a destination! 

Remember, happiness is not a destination. It’s not about reaching a certain goal or acquiring a certain possession.

It’s about finding joy in the present moment and having a positive outlook on life.

By focusing on the things within your control, you can create a life that is full of happiness, fulfilment, and meaning. So, go out there and start capturing those moments of happiness!

Happiness

Happiness

Hey there, lovely people! Today, we’re going to talk about one of the most essential things in life – happiness!

Yes, you read it right! Being happy is crucial, and it’s not just a fleeting emotion or a state of mind; it’s a way of life. And I’m here to tell you why it’s so important, especially for midlife women!

 

Why happiness matters

First things first, let’s talk about why happiness matters, regardless of age or gender. Studies have shown that happiness can have numerous benefits, both physical and mental.

It reduces stress, improves overall wellbeing, and helps prevent illnesses such as depression, anxiety, and heart disease.

Happy people are also more productive, creative, and have stronger relationships with others.

 

Happiness for midlife women

Now, why is it particularly crucial for midlife women?

Well, for starters, midlife can be a challenging time for women. Hormonal changes, career changes, and family responsibilities can all contribute to feelings of stress, anxiety, and even depression.

But the good news is that happiness can help combat these negative emotions and improve overall quality of life.

 

Benefits of prioritising happiness

When women prioritise their happiness, they experience benefits such as increased self-esteem, better relationships, and greater life satisfaction.

They’re also better equipped to handle the inevitable challenges that come with midlife, such as caring for aging parents or facing health concerns.

 

When we don’t focus on happiness

Of course, we can’t talk about happiness without acknowledging the pain points that can come with not prioritising it.

Without happiness, women may experience feelings of loneliness, dissatisfaction, and even hopelessness. They may struggle to find joy in their everyday lives or feel like they’re simply going through the motions.

 

Ways to prioritise happiness

But fear not, my friends! There are plenty of ways to prioritise happiness and start experiencing its benefits.

Gratitude

One simple way is to practice gratitude. Taking a few moments each day to reflect on the good things in our lives can help shift our focus from negative to positive.

Joy

Another great way to boost happiness is to engage in activities that bring us joy. Whether it’s taking a dance class, reading a book, or spending time with loved ones, doing things that make us happy can have a significant impact on our overall well-being.

Self-care

Lastly, it’s essential to prioritize self-care. This can look different for everyone, but some ideas include getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, and taking time for relaxation and self-reflection.

 

All that shows that happiness is critical, and it’s especially important for midlife women.

Prioritising happiness can have numerous benefits, and not doing so can lead to negative emotions and experiences.

But with a little effort and some simple steps, we can all start prioritising happiness and experiencing its many rewards.

So go ahead and start today – your future self will thank you!

Stress. It’s not all in your head.

Stress. It’s not all in your head.

Stress. It’s not all in your head. Far from it. 

While stress is commonly associated with psychological symptoms such as anxiety and depression, it can also have a significant impact on our physical and emotional wellbeing.

 

MIND BODY CONNECTION

There is a strong connection between the body and mind, and research has shown that the state of the body can have an impact on the mind.

The mind-body connection refers to the idea that our mental and emotional states can affect our physical health and vice versa. This means that the health of our mind and body are closely connected and can influence each other.

For example, stress and negative emotions can affect our physical health by increasing the production of stress hormones. The stress hormone cortisol can impact on various bodily systems, including the immune system, digestive system, and cardiovascular system, which can lead to physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach-aches, and a weakened immune system.

On the other hand, physical illness or injury can also affect our mental and emotional wellbeing, leading to feelings of sadness, anxiety, or frustration.

Additionally, stress can also interfere with brain function and cognitive abilities, leading to problems with memory, focus, and decision-making.

Here are some of the many physical and emotional symptoms of stress.

 

PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS OF STRESS

– Headaches
– Muscle tension and pain
– Chest pain or heart palpitations
– Fatigue
– Insomnia or disturbed sleep
– Stomach problems, such as nausea, indigestion, and diarrhoea
– Skin breakouts, such as hives and rashes
– Decreased libido or sexual dysfunction

 

EMOTIONAL SYMPTOMS OF STRESS

– Anxiety
– Depression
– Irritability and anger
– Restlessness and nervousness
– Lack of motivation or interest in life
– Increased feelings of sadness or hopelessness
– Difficulty concentrating and making decisions
– Negative self-talk and low self-esteem

 

IMPACTS OF STRESS

Chronic stress can lead to a range of health problems and can have a significant impact on our daily life. It is important that we are able to recognise the symptoms of stress and seek help if needed to manage its impact on our health, wellbeing and quality of life.

– Chronic stress can lead to a range of health problems, such as heart disease, high blood pressure, and stroke.
Stress can weaken the immune system, making it more difficult for the body to fight off infections and illnesses.
Chronic stress can also contribute to depression and anxiety, as well as other mental health conditions.
– Stress can interfere with relationships and cause strain and conflict in personal and professional relationships.
– It can also lead to decreased productivity, as stress can make it difficult to focus and complete tasks efficiently.

All of which makes it abundantly clear that stress is not just “all in your head.”

 

HEALING FROM STRESS

Healing from stress for midlife women can improve emotional wellbeing, reduce anxiety, increase self-awareness and self-esteem, better relationships with others, and improve physical health.

Mindset techniques such as positive thinking, mindfulness, and cognitive-behavioural therapy can help women manage and overcome negative thought patterns and emotions.

Healing practices such as yoga, meditation, and therapy can also help women process and release past traumas, and develop greater self-compassion and self-acceptance.

Additionally, many women find that as they age, they become more self-confident and self-assured, and are better able to set boundaries and make choices that align with their values and needs.

CREATE YOUR PERSONAL WELLNESS PLAN

✨ Create a crystal clear vision for the healthy, happy, balanced life you want to live
✨ Uncover the key stressors and main challenges that are sabotaging your health and life goals right now
✨ You’ll leave the session renewed, re-energised and inspired to finally make life changes to regain your health, energy and purpose once and for all

Journal Prompts for Self-Discovery in Midlife

Journal Prompts for Self-Discovery in Midlife

JOURNALING IN MIDLIFE

Journaling in midlife can be a powerful tool for self-reflection, self-discovery and personal growth.

As we age and our lives become increasingly complex, it can be easy to lose sight of our goals and values. Journaling can help us slow down and take the time to reflect on what is most important to us, and how we can live a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

THE BENEFITS OF JOURNALING

One of the benefits of journaling in midlife is that it allows us to track our progress and growth over time. By looking back at our past entries, we can see how far we have come and how much we have learned. This can be especially helpful for those who may be feeling stuck or uncertain about their direction in life.

Another benefit of journaling is that it gives us a safe and private space to explore our thoughts and feelings. It can be liberating to be able to express ourselves without fear of judgment or criticism, and this can lead to a greater sense of self-awareness and understanding.

As well as the personal benefits of journaling, it can also be a helpful tool for managing the many challenges that come with midlife. For example, journaling can be a way to process and make sense of difficult emotions, such as grief, stress, or anxiety. It can also be a way to set goals and plan for the future, whether that be career, personal, or financial.

HOW TO START JOURNALING

To get started with journaling in midlife, all you need is a notebook and a pen. Some people prefer to journal in a traditional paper diary, while others may prefer to use a computer or phone app. There are no hard and fast rules for how to journal, so feel free to experiment and find what works best for you. Some people like to set aside a specific time each day to journal, while others prefer to write as the mood strikes them.

Ultimately, the most important thing is to find a method of journaling that feels comfortable and meaningful to you. Whether you choose to write about your daily experiences, your long-term goals, or your deepest feelings, the act of journaling can be a powerful tool for personal growth and self-discovery in midlife.

 

JOURNAL PROMPTS FOR SELF-DISCOVERY IN MIDLIFE

1. What am I grateful for today?

2. What gives me great joy?

3. What does happiness mean to me?

4. What are my most important values?

5. What things make me feel good while I’m doing them?

6. What is my gift to the world?

7. What feelings am I feeling right now?

8. What is the most important thing for me in this moment?

9. What is the bravest thing I’ve done?

10. What do I avoid?

11. If I didn’t feel fear or shame, what would I do now?

12. What is my worst fear? How does it limit my possibilities in life?

13. What recurring situations and people do I attract? What lessons might they have?

14. What kinds of routines or habits limit my experience of everyday life?

15. Is there something I should let go of to be able to move forward?

16. What is my life like when it is in balance?

17. Why am I doing the things that I’m doing right now?

18. Where am I going and why?

19. What was I intended to do in this life?

20. What can I not help but do?

21. What is my biggest dream? What can I do today to move closer to that dream?

22. If this was my last day, would I be satisfied with my life? What would I have done differently?

23. Am I focussing more on what my life looks like than on what it feels like?

24. What is my instinct telling me to do?

25. Who am I?

THE MESSY MIDDLE COACHING

When you work with me one-on-one in The Messy Middle coaching programme, you’ll have me as your personal guide on your midlife journey of rediscovery.

I help women banish stress and the onset of midlife crisis by prioritising wellness and creating a life of meaning, health and happiness.

Journal Prompts

Books That Helped Me Recover From Midlife Burnout

Books That Helped Me Recover From Midlife Burnout

I’ve been on quite a journey of recovery, growth and transformation. These books that helped me learn, grow, let things go and turn my life around to recover from midlife burnout.

Some are books I’ve read over time and time again or dip into when I need a reminder or a burst of inspiration.

I’ve recently moved home for the fifth time in two years. So I had to make the (for me) painful decision to downsize my personal ‘library’ of books. These are the books that survived the cull and are with me to stay. They’re that good!

* This page has affiliate links which could earn me a small commission but doesn’t cost you any extra. And of course, I will never recommend anything to you that I haven’t tried and liked. Promise. For more details see my disclosure policy and privacy policy.

Personal Development & Growth

Spirituality

Psychology

Philosophy

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)

Yoga

Rising Ritual: The Importance of a Morning Routine

Rising Ritual: The Importance of a Morning Routine

Good morning sunshine! 🌞 

 

Did you know that what you do first thing in the morning, sets the tone for your entire day? It’s true. So it’s important that you start off your day in a positive way.

Not only that but establishing good morning habits means you’re more likely to continue making healthy choices throughout the day.

Win the morning, win the day,” Tim Ferris

If having a morning routine is an essential for the most successful 1% of people in the planet then why not give it a try?

Imagine this. You get up in the morning knowing that you’re going to step straight into your morning routine. That means you don’t need to make a single decision first thing. Not only does that help ease you into the day, but you can save that brain power for when you need it later in the day.

Each day we only have a certain amount of willpower. That willpower is strongest when we waken and lessens as the day goes on. Ah… so that’s why I’m more inclined to demolish the family size chocolate bar at night-time. It’s because my willpower reserves are depleted! 🍫😋

When I follow my full routine, it takes less than an hour. Under an hour and I feel more grounded, focused, centred and it clears my mind for the day ahead.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t always do all of it. But I always do some of it. When I first waken, I list three things I’m grateful for before I get out of bed. Even if one of those is just being thankful for my warm, comfy bed.

The most important thing is that you choose to introduce what will suit you. That way you’re more likely to stick to practice long term and reap the benefits. So here are some of the options you might choose from to start your day as you mean to continue.

 Photo by Fabian Møller on Unsplash
 


Design your very own Rising Ritual with these options to choose from…

 

🙏🏼Silence 

Silence allows your body to wake up slowly and naturally, easing you into the day. It helps you to centre emotionally and brings you a sense of calm. You don’t have to sit and do absolutely nothing while you’re silent. Sometimes my silent time is my walking time. I try to avoid thinking about the day ahead while I’m walking each morning. In fact, I try to avoid thinking too much at all. I allow myself to be fully present and enjoy the sights and sounds.

Sometimes I’ll have my moments of silence back on the balcony with my coffee.

🙏🏼Meditation

Meditation helps focus, concentration, mental health.

Sitting in meditation has never been very achievable or enjoyable for me. I’m a chronic overthinker, my mind is always racing. I spend most of the time wondering when it will be over or making lists and plans for the day ahead!

For me, daily pranayama (breathing exercises) and yoga practice are my best forms of meditation. And walking meditation is the best! I practice being fully present on my morning walks.

🙏🏼Gratitude

Gratitude and appreciation is the key to happiness.

Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy — because we will always want to have something else or something more. ~ Br. David Steindl-Rast

Many people are on a lifelong search for happiness.

When I get this, have that, reach that destination or key moment in my life, I will be happy. But when you get there, you will start searching for the next thing. I believe that happiness is now, that there is happiness to be found in small moments. Gratitude is a choice to start the day with a positive mindset and recognition of the good things that are already in our lives. Practicing gratitude helps you replace negative thoughts with good thoughts and stops you living in a place of ‘lack’ and move into a zone of abundance.

Gratitude is a choice. We can choose to be grateful or we can allow ourselves to be ungrateful. It’s choosing to recognise the value that’s already in your life.

🙏🏼Affirmations

Positive affirmations are statements that help you overcome or steer away from negative thoughts. Positive Psychology explains the psychological theory and neuroscience behind this powerful practice.

🙏🏼Visualisation

Visualisation is a technique to manifest your goals and desired outcomes.

If it’s a new concept to you, I know it sounds wacky but it’s widely practiced by super successful people. Jack Canfield explains it brilliantly here.

🙏🏼Intentions

Take a moment to set an intention for the day ahead. Intentions can be whatever you want them to be. Think of them as a roadmap for your day. Try to focus on the positive and make it uplifting. For example, if you’ve been feeling stressed, rather than setting an intention of “I will overcome this stress today”, instead use “Today I will find peace and calm”. Using the negative word will have the opposite of the desired effect, reminding you throughout the day that you’re stressed. Once you’re practiced at this, it’s good to stop at several points during the day to remind yourself of the daily intention.

🙏🏼Pranayama

Pranayama is a yoga practice of focussing on your breath, essentially some breathing exercises. The goal is to connect your body and mind, boosting physical and mental wellness.

I light a scented candle or burn oils and warm a few drops of essential oils in my palms to inhale while breathing. Gorgeous start to the day.

🙏🏼Reading

Spiritual reading was recommended to me by my ayurvedic therapist as part of my daily practice.

Reading just a page or a chapter each day helps me pick up a ‘thought for the day’, giving me something new to consider and lots to learn. Sometimes I open a book randomly and see where it opens, believing it will guide me to what I need to know that day.

🙏🏼Journaling

My journaling encompasses almost all of these practices. It’s a daily checklist that guides me through each step.

I also practice free writing, letting the pen flow wherever it takes me. If something is troubling me, I write through it. If good things are happening, I like to capture those too.

Journaling helps clear my mind, organise my thoughts, capture ideas, reflect, make decisions, prioritise, plan and gain new perspectives.

🙏🏼Yoga

Yoga gently wakens up your body and muscles. It’s good to relax your mind and nervous system, prepare your body for digestion and gently rouse your circulation immune system for the day ahead.

🙏🏼A walk in nature

If I only did one thing each day this would be it. I can have my silence, be grateful for everything around me and be inspired by nature. It’s good exercise, great to breathe fresh air and I find nature grounding.

🙏🏼Keeping it a tech free / email free zone until a certain time

We spend so much time on our screens. As soon as you check the news, or messages or emails, your mind is racing into the day ahead. Give yourself some time before entering the busyness of the day. It’s good to have a set cut-off time to switch these off at night too.

🙏🏼Mindful coffee / tea / juice / smoothie / lemon water

Sometimes this is when I sit in silence. Sometimes I have a coffee when I journal. But I do it mindfully. Taste it. Smell it. Be present. I literally do wake up and smell the coffee ☕

🐶 Cuddles with the dog

Or is that just me?

How To Overcome Overwhelm & Take Back Control

How To Overcome Overwhelm & Take Back Control

Are you feeling overwhelmed?

Stressed? Worried? Anxious?

 

There are times in your life when you can feel such intense overwhelm that it seems impossible to quieten your thoughts for long enough to be able to see a way through.

It’s hard to allow yourself to aside time to sit still when you’re spinning in overwhelm. But please, give yourself 20 minutes to complete this exercise to help you take back control.

It’s short and simple but very effective. It will help you identify what is within your control so that you can let go of what is not.

(Grab a FREE workbook to guide you through these tips.)

 

STEP 1: WHAT’S ON MY MIND?

Make a list of all the things that are contributing to your worries and feelings of overwhelm. Everything.

It could be that you’re worrying about work issues, lack of work or financial worries. You might be worrying about someone you care about, what’s going to happen during Covid, appointments you need to make, feeling tired, feeling unwell, things you think you should be doing, feelings of guilt etc.

ACTION: Take the time to write EVERYTHING down no matter how small, irrational or ridiculous it might seem right now. Emptying this list onto paper is a very effective way of clearing that incessant chatter in your head.

Done? Great. These are your WORRY ITEMS.

 

STEP 2: EXERCISE — CONTROL, INFLUENCE OR CONCERN

In your workbook, on the Circle of Influence image (page 6) you’ll see a larger version of the 3 circles or sections pictured below.

 

We’re going to categorise each WORRY ITEM into one of these three headings.

1. This is within my control (CONTROL)
2. I can influence this (INFLUENCE)
3. Everything else (CONCERN)

ACTION: Now work through the list of WORRY ITEMS you prepared in STEP 1. Which Section do they fit?

1. Circle of Control:

  • Do you have complete CONTROL over the worry item?
  • Can you resolve it on their own without needing anyone else’s help or input?

If so, write the Worry Item down within the first circle labelled “WITHIN MY CONTROL” and move onto the next item.

2. Circle of Influence:

  • Do you have PARTIAL control or can you INFLUENCE the outcome of the worry item?
  • Can you partly resolve the worry item or can you influence the outcome through their actions or behaviour?

If so, write this item within the second circle labelled “I CAN INFLUENCE” and move onto the next worry on your list.

3. Circle of Concern: Everything else…

  • Is the worry item COMPLETELY OUTSIDE of your CONTROL INFLUENCE?
  • Is there nothing you can do or say that could directly impact this worry?

Write this item in the outside circle labelled EVERYTHING ELSE

Work through your list and write each of your WORRY ITEMS in the circle that represents if you can CONTROL it, INFLUENCE it or it’s everything else (CONCERN).

 

STEP 3: TAKING CONTROL

Once you’ve placed all of your ‘Worry Items’ in the circles, take a few moments to review your Circles of Influence.

ACTION:

  • List the worry items you DO have CONTROL over
  • IDENTIFY one ACTION,however small, for each item.

TIP: It’s helpful to action ONE of these today…or even RIGHT NOW. You’ll feel instantly feel better.

STEP 4: PLANNING TO INFLUENCE

Now, let’s review the items you have INFLUENCE / PARTIAL control over:

ACTION:

Write down what steps you will take and exactly when you will do them — today or in the next few days.

 

STEP 5: LETTING GO

Finally…and most importantly…

LET GO of EVERYTHING ELSE!

This is the most difficult part for many of us. But remember, you’ve already assessed that you have no control over these items. So why hold on? Why let them take up time on you list and on your mind?

Let Go.

QUESTION: How does it FEEL to LET GO of things you have no CONTROL over?

TIP: If you’re using the Workbook, after striking out the Everything Else items, you could cut out around the edge of the grey INFLUENCE circle. Then keeping the CONTROL and INFLUENCE circles, scrunch or tear up the rest of the page and put Everything Else in the bin. This is a powerful way to LET GO.

Grab the gorgeous free workbook here.

 

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Books That Helped Me Recover From Midlife Burnout

My Burnout Reading list

I’ve been on quite a journey of transformation myself over the last three years. These are the books that helped me learn, grow, let things go and turn my life around. Some were new reads and others are books I’ve read over time and time again or dip into when I need a reminder or a burst of inspiration.

Here is my burnout reading list:

* Please note: this page contains affiliate links which could earn me a small commission but doesn’t cost you any extra. And of course, I will never recommend anything to you that I haven’t tried and liked. Promise. For more details see my disclosure policy and privacy policy.

Self-help & Personal Development

Love Is Letting Go of Fear, Gerald G. Jampolsky

Lifeshocks: and how to love them, Sophie Sabbage

Tuesdays With Morrie: An old man, a young man and life’s greatest lesson, Mitch Albom

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, Brené Brown

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown

Rising Strong, Brené Brown

The Rules Of Life: A personal code for living a better, happier, more successful kind of life, Richard Templar

The Missing Piece Meets the Big O, Shel Silverstein

The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k, Sarah Knight

Spirituality

The Power Of Now: A Guide To Spiritual Enlightenment, Eckhart Tolle

The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck

The Secret, Rhonda Byrne

The Universe Has Your Back: How to Feel Safe and Trust Your Life No Matter What, Gabrielle Bernstein

Your True Home, Thich Nhat Hanh

Daily Meditations For Practicing The Course, Karen Casey

You Can Heal Your Life, Louise L. Hay

Soulcraft: Crossing into the Mysteries of Nature and Psyche, Bill Plotkin

Embracing Our Selves: The Voice Dialogue Manual, Hal Stone, Ph.D. and Sidra L. Stone, Ph.D.

Psychology

Evolve Your Brain: The Science of Changing Your Mind, Joe Dispenza, D.C.

Man’s Search For Meaning: The classic tribute to hope from the Holocaust, Viktor E. Frankl

Sane New World: Taming the Mind, Ruby Wax

The Female Brain, Louann Brizendine, M.D.

Personal Effectiveness

Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone To Take Action, Simon Sinek

Eat That Frog!: Get More of the Important Things Done Today, Brian Tracy

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey

Manage Your Mind: The Mental Fitness Guide, Gillian Butler and Tony Hope

Philosophy

Women Who Run With The Wolves: Contacting The Power Of The Wild Woman, Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)

Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder, Gabor Maté

Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood through Adulthood, Edward M. Hallowell, M.D. and John J. Ratey, M.D.

Yoga

Asana Pranayama Mudra Bandha, Saraswati Satyananda Swami

The Science of Yoga: The Risks and the Rewards, William J. Broad

Anatomy of Hatha Yoga: An Manual for Students, Teachers and Practitioners, H. David Coulter

Bhagavad Gita – Text and Commentary, Sivananda Swami

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